Bible Couples, Pt. 10: Aquila and Priscilla

TWO HALVES MAKE A WHOLE (ACTS 18:1-4, 18-26)

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

“Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said, 'That's once.' We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'

“We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead. I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said 'That's once.'“

A lot of people do not like to work with their spouse in the same company. They are less efficient in the same office or team together. The two get in each other’ business, way, space, hair and face. Guys, especially, are anxious that their spouse will show them up, put them down, or run the show before their superiors, peers or employees.

However, it is different in the Lord and in ministry. Flying solo in ministry is impossible. A spouse should welcome and encourage the other half and the whole family to serve alongside. Without spousal support, a willing person’s ministry is stagnant and stifled. The person’s participation or growth is minimal if the spouse has little or no desire to attend worship, fellowship and activities, has no desire to serve and does not want the spouse to fellowship or socialize with brothers and sisters. A person on fire for the Lord will find his flame doused by cold water when a spouse in uninterested in ministry and lacking in zeal. It’s been said, “There is no “I” word in TEAM.”

The most effective Bible couple in ministry is Aquila and Priscilla, tent-making Jews who left Rome because of ethnic persecution. When they first met Paul, they knew little or nothing about ministry but their eyes were opened to the possibilities of using their gifts, trying something new and multiplying their ministry. They are the typical couple, not the traditional couple, today.

Grow As a Team
18:1 After this, Paul left Athens and went to Corinth. 2 There he met a Jew named Aquila, a native of Pontus, who had recently come from Italy with his wife Priscilla, because Claudius had ordered all the Jews to leave Rome. Paul went to see them, 3 and because he was a tentmaker as they were, he stayed and worked with them. 4 Every Sabbath he reasoned in the synagogue, trying to persuade Jews and Greeks. (Acts 18:1-4)
18 Paul stayed on in Corinth for some time. Then he left the brothers and sailed for Syria, accompanied by Priscilla and Aquila. Before he sailed, he had his hair cut off at Cenchrea because of a vow he had taken. (Acts 18:18)

My wife and I use our own last names in professional circles. Unlike many wives, she did not change her last name for tax purposes, because she did not like the idea of changing so many documents. My wife does her part and her best in ministry. I never have to pressure her about her role in the ministry. Mostly, as a pastor’s wife, she has a supporting role in church ministry, and never the leading role in fellowship or study groups.

However, my wife does voluntary services beyond church circles with her gifts. Previously in Los Angeles, she took live calls on Cantonese radio once a month discussing mental health issues when her schedule permitted her to do so, using her professional name Dr. Mok. Few pastor friends have a clue that she is my wife. We are comfortable with the arrangement.

The arrangement has more advantages than disadvantages. For one, pastors cannot go through me to ask my wife to speak, because they do not know we are related! Two, we have our own identity. I do not want to be known as Dr. Mok’s husband. Her identity is her own, and not as the pastor’s wife. Further, the odd-sounding, dog-barking name of Yap does a psychologist no favors. Still, I often cringe when telemarketers ask the question when they couldn’t get my wife at home: “Are you Mr. Mok?” Mostly, I am in no mood to explain to a complete stranger. Usually I just politely but abruptly hang up the phone. Often I have to correct her office people who call me “Mr. Mok.” I safely guess most husbands would cringe when outsiders address them by their spouse’s last name!

One of the most beautiful husband and wife ministry team in the Bible is seldom mentioned and given enough credit. Aquila and Priscilla were strong enough to share credit. The team is sometimes known as the Aquila and Priscilla team (Acts 18:2, 1 Cor 16:19), but more often they were known as the Priscilla and Aquila team (Acts 18:18, 19, 26, Rom 16:3, 2 Tim 4:19). At the first mention of their names, Luke, author of Acts, listed Aquila’s name before the wife’s name as the husband of Priscilla (Acts 18:2), but hinted that Priscilla was more outstanding or more involved than her husband by putting her name first on the next three occasions (Acts 18:18, 19, 26). Publicly, Paul had no qualms about calling them the wife and husband team in his writings to the church and individuals. In Paul’s much-read letter to the Corinthians, he calls them Aquila and Priscilla (1 Cor 16:19), but in his letters to the Romans and to Timothy he calls them Priscilla and Aquila (Rom 16:3, 2 Tim 4:19). Overall, Aquila’s name comes before Priscilla twice, but Priscilla’s name preceded Aquila five times. You can say, as many Bible commentators do, that Priscilla quickly overtook Aquila as the team leader or contact person.

Aquila, to his credit, had a modern outlook and a thick hide in the Lord. He did not get mad at Luke, Paul or Aquila for such a politically incorrect label. Aquila did not wake his wife up in the middle of the night, quizzing, “Why did Paul call us Priscilla and Aquila, and not vice versa? Why didn’t you say something? What would people think?” He did not write a letter to Paul for clarification or rebuttal, stating “Please change greetings or drop salutation.” Aquila did not have to do anything to prove his standing in the family or improve his standing in the church community. In fact, he did the opposite. He had no problem allowing or encouraging his wife to use her unique talents, grow into her own, and have her own ministries since they always did ministry with each other’s support and blessing.

Aquila never told Priscilla that a woman’s place was in the home, by her man’s side or “behind” his back, that traveling was too dangerous for a woman and she should stick to teaching kids, kitchen duties or sewing classes. They respected each other’s ministry, gifts and uniqueness. The husband should never be petty or sensitive when it comes to spiritual growth or service matters. Mostly they were glad to see God’s word spreading, people’ lives changed and ministry being done. The important thing to them was never to be at odds with each other in identity, in crisis or opportunity.

Go as a Team
18 Paul stayed on in Corinth for some time. Then he left the brothers and sailed for Syria, accompanied by Priscilla and Aquila. Before he sailed, he had his hair cut off at Cenchrea because of a vow he had taken. 19 They arrived at Ephesus, where Paul left Priscilla and Aquila. He himself went into the synagogue and reasoned with the Jews. (Acts 18:18-20)

When a young relative stayed with us for two years of junior college, we had our work cut out for us. Before that, we were in our own private, two-people world. Being the only child in the family, the youngster was often surrounded by loving and caring aunts and grandparents growing up, never needing to lift a finger at home!

Teaching and practicing a new set of rules was a learning experience for all. Usually, instructions were given after something had happened or through trail and error. Old habits were hard to break for him. Growing up, he slept with windows wide open for the breeze. We had to remind him to close his room windows after he left the house with the windows open and that he can only sleep with his windows slightly open, with a latch on the sill restricting the window’s opening so that thieves would not break in. Unfortunately for me, my wife banned him from washing dishes when he showed such poor performance and quality control! When he forgot to call home after a certain time we got on his case.

Of course, the college student volunteered for chores but his motivation was low. He volunteered to take out the extra-large trash bins to the sidewalk on weekly trash day but he only remembered to do it once in a blue moon. The only thing he did consistently was collecting the mail, and that was because he was awaiting mail from friends and home. Some costly mistakes include backing his car into the sprinklers, losing house keys and burning beyond recognition an expensive Calphalon frying pan.

Aquila and Priscilla were a team in ministry to brothers and sisters and to God’s servants such as Paul. Paul went to see them (v 2) and stayed and worked with them (v 3). Note that they did not initiate asking him to stay, but Paul needed a room as well as a home. Aquila and Priscilla had each other, but Paul was by himself and had no company or peer. Paul asked for a place to stay, a home to belong and a family for support. The couple could use all the privacy and down-time they could get, but they decided as a team they could take in the new guest. The visitor was now a family member. I can see them ended up cooking for him. At the end, Paul did not stay a day, a week, a month or a year. The text says he stayed there for a year and a half (Acts 18:11) and then for a little while (Acts 18:18).

I am sure the couple got as much as they gave, if not more, in their relationship with the apostle. How do we know that Aquila and Priscilla did not consider Paul a burden, a mistake, a nightmare or a freeloader? When Paul left for Syria, Aquila and Priscilla went with them (Acts 18:18). They had grown so much with Paul around that they could go and share in the ministry themselves. The growth was both ways, not one-sided. The ministry was about sharing the same vision, not sharing the same table or house. Paul had continually challenged them. They saw people coming to Paul morning to night (v 23). Their minds were open to the tent-making (v 3) potential. Unlike others in ministry, people like Aquila and Priscilla did not need financial support to make the trip. They could set up shop anywhere, anytime. They made a big leap of faith when they followed Paul to Syria from Corinth (v 18).

The couple had a lot to learn and to cover. The journey to Syria was hundreds of miles east. The couple was Paul’s best supporters. They could have questioned why Paul had to go all the way east to Syria and not the nearer Ephesus first, but they trusted his plans. In fact, they were together for one more mission trip, to Ephesus (Acts 18:19), before they separated there. Their first taste of ministry made them hungry for more. It wasn’t all roses. Paul testified in Romans 16:4 that they were fellow workers, not bystanders, and that they risked their lives for him. The Greek text says they risked their necks or trachelos (English – trachea) for him. They considered their time together delightful, blessed, priceless and, more importantly, something worthwhile. They could learn from one another’s likes and dislikes, even trade practices and secrets.

Give As a Team
24 Meanwhile a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures. 25 He had been instructed in the way of the Lord, and he spoke with great fervor and taught about Jesus accurately, though he knew only the baptism of John. 26 He began to speak boldly in the synagogue. When Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they invited him to their home and explained to him the way of God more adequately. (Acts 18:24-26)
3 Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus. 4 They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them. (Rom 16:3-4)
19 The churches in the province of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Priscilla greet you warmly in the Lord, and so does the church that meets at their house. (1 Cor 16:19-20)

As our ministries and day jobs become increasingly busy, my wife and I decided we want to do ministry together, and not ministry apart. Our priorities are to minister as a team in other states or overseas countries. Our first experience was as conference speaker and workshop speaker. I spoke on the theme of the conference at the morning and evening sessions and my wife had a talk on healthy marriage, raising children or teenage issues. She was a bigger hit!

The two of us have also co-written books together. My wife added reflection questions to the books I have in print.

On our mission trip to Rome, where I was scheduled to teach two classes of 15-20 lay people over ten days on how to preach expository sermons, the church arranged for her to visit a person with psychological problems, knowing my wife’s expertise in this are. On the way stopping in London, another church requested her to do seminars to benefit families there.

Aquila and Priscilla had it “as good as it gets” ministering with Paul the apostle. They had been with him for two missionary journeys. Still, no party never ends. They had to stride out on their own to multiply the ministry. After more than a year and a half together in Corinth and two journeys together to Syria and Ephesus they thought they had to make what they had learned to count in the lives of others. Of course, fellowship with an apostle was great, so were the singing, the praying and the Bible studies, but lost souls were at stake. Sure, they could harp back at the great times they had, but the work of evangelism was never done. Lost souls and church planting were at stake. They progressed from an everyday member to an extraordinary missionary, and eventually to be an excellent mentor.

The two were right. They saw a zealous new believer on fire for the Lord. Apollos was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures. He had been instructed in the way of the Lord, speaking with great fervor and teaching about Jesus accurately, though incomplete. So they took him aside, took him under their wings and even took him into their homes (Acts 18:26). Not content with taking in Paul for 18 or so months, they unreservedly did the same for Apollos, too.

Paul and Apollos were not only on fire for the Lord, they were fiery people! Later, the church in Corinth would identify themselves as the Paul’s party or Apollos’ party. Only Aquila and Priscilla were big and accommodating enough to live with not only one but two characters who were larger than life! Acts 18:23 also records that when they were playing hosts to Paul at the old place, they had almost no privacy. Not only was Paul there, large numbers of people came morning to evening to the place where Paul was staying (Acts 28:23) – more precisely, Aquila and Priscilla’s home. Still, the couple did not consider what Paul did a breach of trust, what visitors did an act of trespassing or that the ministry was an inconvenience. Apollos and Paul were the both sides of the same coin. Apollos also attracted a big following and his supporters were as passionate as Paul’s, given the tension between their supporters (1 Cor 1:12, 3:4, 3:22, 4:6).

Practice makes perfect. The couple’s home in Corinth became a house church. The church in Corinth met at their house (1 Cor 16:19-20). They were Jews, but they were hospitable not only to Jews, but also to Gentiles. Finally, they did not stop going. Their travels did not stop at Ephesus, but where was their final destination? Paul greeted them in his letter to the Romans (16:4). Paul attested in Romans 16:4 that all the churches of the Gentiles were grateful to them. One could say that the couple never bottomed in their giving. They met Paul in Corinth, traveled hundreds of miles east with him to Syria and Ephesus, but eventually they headed hundreds of miles west to Rome, ironically, back to where they belong. They had left Italy because of the fierce persecution of Jews over there (v 2), but they took the gospel home where they were chased out! It seems that Paul was not the only one who took the gospel to Rome. Rome residents Aquila and Priscilla took the gospel back to their hometown, family and relatives, neighbors and friends!

Conclusion: One of the greatest privileges in serving the Lord is getting to serve the Lord together with your spouse. Serving the Lord on your own is a personal blessing, serving the Lord in unity with brothers and sisters in the Lord is a church blessing, but serving the Lord with your spouse is a family blessing. Have you, as a couple, stopped growing as a team, going as a team, and giving as a team? Have you given selflessly of yourself and sacrificially to the Lord? God wants couples to minister as a team and mature as a team. The problem in most churches today is the surplus of one-man or one-woman ministry. God desires couples to be on the same team and the same page in ministry. Have you and your spouse offered and blended your various and unique gifts for ministry? If you are not actively doing, you can always actively support and pray.