Everything Happens for a Reason (Gen. 45:1-15)

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON (GEN. 45:1-15)

After 20 years in the States, my wife and I decided to return to Asia for family and ministry reasons. Shortly before we arrived in Hong Kong in August, 2008, my wife decided to take a job in Macau, which was her only offer. I protested, “We didn’t go to Hong Kong to be separated,” which was the case on weekdays.

A year and a half later she was diagnosed with cancer. She had an operation in March 2009 that took her battered, wounded and hunched body a month to recover, followed by six cycles of chemotherapy – an injection once every three weeks that drains and demoralizes her for the first ten days, culminating with five weeks of daily radiation. Presently she is taking five years of hormone therapy for her diet, which she supplements with Chinese medicine.

Only in sickness did we fully realize God’s plan and providence for our lives. Her colleagues were very supportive, including one who is married to a pastor’s daughter and another who joins her in researching faith groups. They bend backwards to sub for her and accommodate her schedule.

Unlike most sufferers, my wife did not vomit or lose weight. In fact, at one time she gained a pound for each chemo cycle. The greatest blessing was her sisters in Hong Kong who took great care of her, including one who returned from the States for five weeks to be with her. They got the apartment sanitized, carried the diet supplements to our place, and cooked lunch for her when possible.

Joseph’s troubles were second to nobody. He had as hard a time in life as anyone growing up. Sold out, shipped out, shut up, he was forsaken and forgotten, but nothing could get him down. With God on his side, there was no prison cell or glass ceiling to limit him. From a young man of seventeen (Gen 37:2), Joseph was bullied and bought but he was never broken. He was ambushed, accused, and arrested but never angry or aggrieved. The new Joseph was smart, successful, and superior but what about his character? Did he become a monster a machine, or a madman? Given the chance, would he do unto others the way his brothers, his boss’ wife, and fellow prisoners, specifically the butler, treat him?

What makes a person bigger than his problems and better despite his problems? Why do some people become better while others remain bitter when troubles arise? How do we overcome the hurts and humiliation of the past with honor and hope?

How does a betrayed person turn into a better and not a broken person? Why is it necessary to understand God’s purpose for our lives?

Be Released from Resentment
1 Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh's household heard about it. 3 Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence. (Gen 45:1-3)

After two years in Hong Kong, I suddenly hear the Chinese slang “cool” (酷) twice within one month in conversations. A church deacon I met on the ferry remarked to me that he and his wife were “cool.” I thought to myself, “That’s strange to compliment oneself.” From where I come from, “cool” is a good thing. A cool guy in USA is a “smashing” person in England. Cool can mean great, fashionable or OK (I’m cool).

On another occasion, my wife and I had lunch with a couple, whose husband is entering seminary. He shared about the effectiveness of using Evangelism Explosion to bring ten unbelievers to the Lord, which he did not previously because he was a “cool” person.

I asked my wife what they meant, but my Hong Kong wife who has been away for too long did not get it either. So I asked another believer I met on the ferry. He said, “Cool means frosty, not talk too much.” I returned to ask person number 1 and he said it means “indifferent.” So, to be cool is to be cold in Hong Kong!

Joseph was the first Joe Cool and it backfired on him in a big way. Upon reuniting with his brothers, Joseph did a flawless job testing, teasing and toying with his brothers. From the moment the all-powerful Joseph met his brothers there was nothing he could not do. “Not” and “Joseph” do not go hand in hand in their previous encounters. The Bible says Joseph “saw his brothers” (Gen 42:7), “recognized his brothers” (Gen 42:8), “remembered” the dreams (Gen 42:9), “understood” their language (Gen 42:23) and “gave orders” about them (Gen 42:25).

At all times, Joseph had a handle on everything and everyone, but himself. He had a handle on everything but could not control or manage one thing: his feelings. At his impeccable best, when he could do nothing wrong, the emotions burst; it did not leak out as much as it gushed out. It was not a trickle but a torrent, not a drip but a downpour, not a small slipup but a major spill, not an overflow but an outpour. In this emotionally charged story three dramatic actions, with gusto, stood out: Joseph “could no longer control himself” and “wept so loudly”, and his brothers were “terrified.” In fact, this is the second time Joseph could not restrain himself and the word’s second occurrence in the Bible, the first time being in Genesis 43:31, when he saw his brother Benjamin.

A good man such as Joseph cannot restrain himself or be two-faced. A bad man like Haman can and did. This verb 「refrain/control” occurs seven times in the Bible but it applies only to two people specifically: Joseph and Haman. If you remember, Haman was full of indignation but “refrained” himself when Mordecai did not stand up or move aside in his presence. (Est 5:9-10), later losing the restrain at home to plot Mordecai’s death (Est 5:12-14).

Next, Joseph “wept aloud” (v 2), the word’s debut in the Bible. No one wept more than Joseph in the Bible. This “wept aloud” is actually a noun in Hebrew, literally meaning “gave (his) voice in ‘weeping.’” Its verb form occurs six times in Joseph’s account (Gen 42:24, 43:30*2, 45:14*2, 45:15). This is not sniveling or sobbing; it is waling and bawling. He wailed so loudly that the Egyptians and the house of Pharaoh heard (v 2), according to the original text, not just heard about it, scaring the brothers out of their wit. The brothers were so “terrified” which is also a new word so far in the Bible. The brothers were not just afraid or dismayed but terrified ( v 3), which means to tremble inwardly but scared out of their wits, not just fear but fright, not just puzzled but paled.

Be Resplendent in Redemption
4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! 5 And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. 6 For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. 7 But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. 8 “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. 9 Now hurry back to my father and say to him, 'This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don't delay. (Gen 45:4-9)

Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife's beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, as her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. “Bill darling,” she breathed. “I've got a confession to make before I go... I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house ... I spent it on a fling with your best friend Jimmy. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I'm afraid I also was the one who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion...”

“That's all right dearest; don't even give it a second thought.” said Bill. “I have a small confession too. I'm the one who poisoned you.”

Harboring or nursing a grudge is swallowing one’s poison, repressing one’s body, upsetting one’s mind, unleashing negative emotions, inhibiting one’s growth. Instead of having, holding or harnessing a grudge against his brothers, Joseph invited them to “come close” (v 4). The exclamation from the country’s second in command, undoubtedly, is in the imperative mood, but surprisingly the imperative mood is not an executive order but an emotional outburst. The same invitation to “come near now/please” in the imperative mood occurs in one other account in Genesis; twice Isaac affectionately but erroneously requested his other son Jacob instead of Esau to draw near to him (Gen 27:21, 26).

Joseph later reassured his brothers with the use of three not’s in his engrossing speech: do not be distressed (v 5), do not be angry (v 5), and do not delay (v 9). The first word traditionally means “grief” and the last means “stand” – or, don’t stand there! He never blamed God, his brothers or even himself for all the headaches, hardships and hassles in his life.

There are three to’s in the passage detailing why God sent Joseph ahead and what he was to do: God sent me ahead of you “to” save lives (v 5), “to” preserve for you a remnant on earth and “to” save your lives by a great deliverance (v 7). The first “save lives” (v 5) is to nourish or feed, and the second is to live. He also had a theology, maturity and vocabulary second to none, introducing the verbs “preserve life” (Gen 45:5) and “provide” (Gen 45:11) to the Bible and “great deliverance” occurs this only time in the Bible.

There is no good ending unless Joseph understood God’s purpose for his life, which he revealed to his brothers. Without mincing his words, Joseph reiterated that his brothers sold him (vv 4, 5) “to” or “towards” Egypt, not “into” Egypt in NIV. The word “sold” take a life of its own in Joseph’s account, poignantly tracking his whereabouts. The better translation of verse 4 is “sold to (the direction) Egypt” not “sold into Egypt.” Actually Joseph did not rebuke them, but reassured them. What happened was the brothers “sold” him to the Ishmaelites (Gen 37:27), who “sold” him to the Midianites (Gen 37:28), who later “sold” Joseph in Egypt to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh's officials, the captain of the guard. (Gen 37:36). The brothers only knew that the Ishmaelites got him, but Joseph knew God guided and guarded him, which was how he ended up in Egypt.

Be Ready to Reconcile
14 Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. 15 And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him. (Gen 45:14-15)

One of the most unforgettable stories on forgiveness is mined from an Amish school shooting. On October 2, 2006, a milk truck driver entered a village schoolhouse in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, tied and shot his victims, ten young girls who range from 6-13, in the head at close range, with 17 or 18 shots fired in all, killing five, before committing suicide. Bullet holes and blood splatter were everywhere.

More shocking was the Amish community’s reaction. A spokesman for the gunman’s family said an Amish neighbor comforted the shooter’s family hours after the shooting and extended forgiveness to them. Amish community members visited and comforted the widow, parents, and parents-in-law. One Amish man reportedly held the man’s sobbing father in his arms for as long as an hour to comfort him. About 30 members of the Amish community attended Roberts' funeral.

Some commentators argued that swift and complete forgiveness is inappropriate when no remorse has been expressed, and that such an attitude runs the risk of denying the existence of evil. Scholars of Amish life explained that "letting go of grudges" is a deeply rooted value in Amish culture. They explained that the Amish willingness to forgo vengeance does not undo the tragedy or pardon the wrong, but rather constitutes a first step toward a future that is more hopeful.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish_school_shooting

A father who lost a daughter in the schoolhouse said, "Forgiveness means giving up the right to revenge." “The acid of bitterness eats the container that holds it," one farmer added. http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/1002/p09s02-coop.html

The final phase of forgiveness is reconciliation. True, Joseph threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, but he reserved his wet kisses for all his brothers not just Benjamin. The one wounded did not fish for an apology, a hug or a handshake. He did not wait this long in life for this moment to see if they would fall on their knees, beg for their lives or cry their eyes out, which they did not, unlike their father (Gen 37:35, 46:29). In reconciliation, one has to make the move, usually the one who is bighearted or brave-hearted. Joseph shrugged off the mantle of a victim. He kissed all his brothers and wept over them.

The text noted that Benjamin was Joseph’s brother in verse 14 but, in the same breath, also that the other siblings were his brothers, too. The chill melted and the brothers returned the initiative and talked with him (v 15). The word “talk/speak” (v 15) comes to a full cycle. Previously the brothers hated him and could not “speak” a kind word or in peace to him (Gen 37:4) – the same word in Hebrew. All the misunderstandings, misgivings and mistrust of the years ended and melted as mysteriously as it started. Previously they hated him, the dominant verb in their relationship, repeated three times at the beginning of their story – “they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him” (Gen 37:4), “they hated him all the more” (Gen 37:5) and “they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said (Gen 37:8).

When hates enters, talk exits. When harmony enters, talk exists. Previously the brothers rejected him; presently they revered him. Before they wanted to harm him; presently they wanted to hold him. They couldn’t wait to kill him years ago; they couldn’t wait to kiss him years later.

Conclusion: It’s been said, “To everything there is a purpose.” Are you harboring revenge, retribution and retaliation in your heart? God allows evil to occur, not cause it to happen. In all things God works for the good of those who love him (Rom 8:28). It is futile to search for past reasons, but by faith we trust His future purpose for our lives. Have you asked God to help you to pick up the pieces, give closure to the past and come to terms with it? Have you prayed for the strength to turn a wrong into a witness? Remember, mercy triumphs over judgment (James 2:13), love is stronger than hate, and suffering loss is better than striking back.