Bible Couples, Pt. 8: Joseph and Mary

GOD’S CHOSEN PARENTS (MATTHEW 1:18-25)

The USDA (United States Department of Agriculture) has kept track for many years the cost of raising a child through its survey of over 15,000 families on the cost of a child’s housing, food, transportation, clothing, health care, child care, education and miscellaneous goods and services, but not including the parent’s time costs, forgone earnings and career opportunities. The estimated expenditure on a child in 1995 for a two-child middle-income couple (making $33,700 to $56,700 per year) was $7,610 for a 0-2 year-old toddler to $8,710 for a 15-17 year-old teenager. http://www.usda.gov/cnpp/960401.pdf

A 2005-2006 survey ten years later of over 28,000 households concludes that a middle income married couple with two kids will likely spend $11,610 to $13,480 on a child (adjusted to 2008 dollars). More interestingly, USDA concludes that a child born in 2008 who will reach 17 in 2025 will likely cost lower income families a cool $210,340, middle income families an arm and a leg at $291,570, and the highest income families a whopping $483,750! (enough for a brand new house!) http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/Publications/CRC/crc2008.pdf

Joseph, like any young man his age, had dreams and ambitions of his own but willingly surrendered or relinquished his dreams for a higher calling – to be father of the Messiah. Joseph was the father figure in Jesus’ life but, more often, he was the forgotten important parent figure in Jesus’ life. In fact, he does not have a word to say or a conversation to share in the Bible. His presence at Jesus' birth and the reception of the shepherds or the magi was not stated. Artists and Apocrypha writings have painted the picture of Joseph as an old man marrying the young Mary. It took a long time for scholars and historians to give Joseph his rightful credit.

Diane Apostolos-Cappadona, a religious-art specialist affiliated with Washington's Georgetown University notes that early Christian art sometimes omitted Joseph from the Nativity. When present, “he's either disinterested or separate, a doddering old man with a bald head or gray beard, a stock character,” she says. The Rev. Michael Morris, an expert in art and Catholic theology at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, Calif., says Joseph was occasionally painted sleeping through the event. This may have been a nod to his prophetic dreams, but Morris notes that even among Catholic clergy today, “if someone says he's going to take a St. Joseph's meditation, it jokingly means he's taking a nap.” (“Father and Child,” Time 12/19/2005)

Mary’s name looms large in history and in the Bible, but not Joseph’s. Most commentators believe that Joseph had died by the time Jesus made his ministry debut. One can say Joseph did not live to see his dream and the angel’s proclamation come true. His dreams, however, were not as important as God’s role for him and God’s delight with him.

What kind of a father figure is God pleased with? What is the father’s role and responsibility in raising a child? What is one’s position, part and purpose in life? How can you rise to the occasion and fulfill your God-given potential?

Be Trustworthy in Disposition
18 This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. 19 Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. (Matt 1:18-19)

Holiday shopping is a $220 billion dollar industry. From 2000 through 2007, Americans' final estimate of their spending on Christmas gifts approached or exceeded $800, according to Gallup Poll. http://www.gallup.com/poll/123608/christmas-spending-forecast-down-year-ago.aspx

USA Today revealed one year (12/6/04) that the average consumer in will spend $541.03 on gifts - $406.52 on family gifts, $71.29 on friends and $22.12 on coworkers and others.

The National Retail Federation sponsors a survey interviewing 7,861 respondents on what gifts top their holiday lists (USA Today 12/14/04). 53% wants either books, CDs, DVDs, videos or video games. 51% prefers clothing. 33% has an eye on consumer electronics. Home décor or furnishings is the fancy of 21%. Sporting goods or leisure items is the choice of 13%.

The truth is that riches, money and status had nothing to do with Christmas. God chose Joseph and Mary to be the parents of the Son of God for a reason. They were not perfect, sinless or angels but they were noble, moral and upright. Joseph, in particular, was a righteous man (v 19). God chose an outstanding citizen, a blameless man and a perfect gentleman to be Jesus’ father. Joseph stands in elite company in the New Testament, attested to be “righteous,” afforded such honor along with Jesus (Luke 23:47, Matt 27:19), John the Baptist (Mark 6:20) and his parents (Luke 1:6-7), Simeon (Luke 2:25), Joseph of Arimathea who buried Jesus (Luke 23:50) and Cornelius (Acts 10:22). Joseph had a heart of gold. He was good to the core, kind in his nature and held in high honor. As such, Joseph was a dependable, respected and hardworking man.

Joseph was the strong and silent type, a man of few words but his character spoke volumes and did all the talking. Have you noticed everyone speaks but Joseph in the Christmas narrative (and most Christmas plays)? Not even a monosyllabic “yes,” “no” or “huh” reply was attributed him. The mother, the angels, the shepherds, the wise men and the barn animals get all the choicest parts at Christmas, but not Joseph. Joseph was comfortable with his non-speaking, background-hogging part. He did whatever he could to bring stability to the child, the mother and the family. The husband-t0-be had a decent job, not a dream job. He did not come from money nor did he have a government job. Neither was he a physician, a priest, or a poet. The father-to-be was a carpenter, a modest and unassuming job as such. Note that Joseph and Mary could only afford doves for sacrifice in the temple, a small animal was beyond their budget and out of question (Luke 2:24). In today’s world, one could say he could not afford the latest video games, digital cameras, or the plasma, the big-screen or the flat-screen TVs for the family, iPod or Playstation 2.

What defined Joseph was not goods and things, but character and reputation, the greatest and the only criteria God looked at when he chose Joseph out of all of David’s descendants. It’s been said, “Reputation is what people think and say you are, but character is who you really are.” People and neighbors knew Joseph as the quiet, hardworking, honest, who would not give them poor workmanship, supply them rotten wood and charge them exorbitant fees. They did not have to worry about the price he charged, the work he did or the products he hawked.

Be Teachable in Doubt
20 But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”-which means, “God with us.” 24 When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. 25 But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus. (Matt 1:20-25)

The Los Angeles Times (8/22/02) asked kids what would they want if they were given three wishes. Christina, 10, said, (1) To have a horse so I could go riding anytime; (2) that unicorns and flying horses could be real; (3) to have $1 million so we could live in a bigger house.

9-year-old Ericka answered: (1) To be in medieval times and be a princess (2) to do back handsprings; (3) to be an interior decorator for houses.

Young 8 year-old Oscar was more serious. He wished for: (1) That there will be no crime so people wouldn’t die; (2) that people will have food so they will live longer; (3) that I will get good grades so I can get better at everything.

Fun-loving 9-year-old Jonathan replied: (1) I would wish for a pet alligator. It would be big and nice; (2) that I would have my own tree house and I could paint it Army color; (3) that I could be a famous soccer play.

Antonio, a thoughtful fourth-grader declared: (1) That my family would have eternal life because they are special to me; (2) to become a veterinarian because I love animals; (3) to have peace in the world with no more terrorists destroying our country and no more violence.

Joseph’s faith deserves more praise and attention than his ambition. One might even say God required or expected more from him than from his wife, John the Baptist’s father or the night shepherds in the Advent narratives. Joseph did not have the advantage of a visible angelic manifestation that Mary, Zechariah and the shepherds had. Angel Gabriel appeared to John the Baptist’s father, standing at the right side of the altar of incense (Luke 1:11). God sent the angel Gabriel to visit Mary in Nazareth (Luke 1:26-28), too. An unnamed angel of the Lord also appeared to the shepherds (Luke 2:9).

The angel of God appeared to Joseph on three occasions, but never in angelic form each time but always in a dream. He did not see the angel of the Lord standing cutely at the right side of the altar of incense as Zechariah did (Luke 1:11) and he was not blinded by the glory of the Lord that shone around him like the shepherds were (Luke 2:9). No angels were flapping wings, playing harps, or wearing halos before Joseph. Joseph did not have the advantage of an angelic greeting as Mary did (Lk 1:26). All three angelic instances in Joseph’s narrative were in dreams, not appearances.

The only thing special with the angelic communication in Joseph’s case was supplied by Matthew the author, who dramatized the angelic visitations on three occasions with the “behold” introduction and exclamation that is missing from NIV but found in Greek and KJV (Matt 1:20, 2:13, 2:19). Joseph’s first dream of an angel is in verse 20 of chapter one. The next was after the wise men’s departure, when the angel of the Lord reappeared in a dream to Joseph, urging him to take the child and his mother to escape the murderous Herod and to remain in Egypt (Matt 2:13). After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream again to Joseph in Egypt to inform him that they could return to the land of Israel (Matt 2:19-20).

Joseph did not experience the earth-shaking event associated with the angels’ appearance at Jesus’ the resurrection (Matt 28:2-4). We are not told if he dreamed in black and white, but the words were loud and clear. Joseph acted in faith and did as he was told. Matthew used the Greek word “take” (paralambano) to demonstrate Joseph’s old-fashioned obedience. The word is used 49 times in Greek, but 6 times related to Joseph – the most in any one account or on any one individual. The first two occurrences of the word were when the angel of the Lord commanded Joseph to take Mary as his wife (Matt 1:20), which he promptly did when he woke up and took Mary home as his wife (Matt 1:24). The second two occurrences of the word were when an angel of the Lord commanded Joseph to take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt (Matt 2:13), and Joseph took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt (Matt 2:14). The last two occurrences were when an angel commanded Joseph to take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel after Herod’s death (Matt 2:20), and Joseph obeyed and took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel (Matt 2:21).

Be Tenacious in Danger
13 When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.” 14 So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, 15 where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: “Out of Egypt I called my son.” (Matt 2:13-15)
19 After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt 20 and said, “Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child's life are dead.” 21 So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. 22 But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee, 23 and he went and lived in a town called Nazareth. So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets: “He will be called a Nazarene.” (Matt 2:19-23)

Several years ago Reader’s Digest (3/95) reprinted Larry Rent’s article from the book “Child” titled “Things You’d Love to Hear” from your kids:
1. You’re so cool, Dad.
2. Who cares if the TV is broken?
3. Pass the broccoli, please.
4. What! No kiss?
5. No, thanks. It’s too expensive.
6. It’s a hard choice. Everything sounds great.
7. Bored? How could I be bored?
8. I’ve already made my bed.
9. It was my fault.
10. That’s okay. None of my friends are allowed to do it either.

At times Joseph must have felt he was useless as a man, less of a man and not much of a man when he could not find an inn for his wife and child. The truth was that he was very central to the family’s well-being, the lone ranger in decision-making and every inch involved in child-raising. He fought tooth and nail for the family and was extremely devoted to their safety and needs. However, one would have to look hard to track the quiet man’s involvement.

Joseph was the one who gave Jesus His name at His birth (Matt 1:25). The angel had said to Joseph, “You are to give him the name Jesus” (Matt 1:21). When Simeon took baby Jesus in his arms and praised God in the temple courts, both the father and mother, with Joseph’s name mentioned first, marveled at what was said about him (Luke 2:33). The angel again turned to Joseph (Matt 2:13) when the child’s life was in danger at the murderous hands of Herod, who later gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under (Matt 2:16) that were a threat to this throne. There must have been times Joseph pined for a return to Israel, but he kept his family there, pondering if the angel would ever show up again. Just as he had given up on Israel, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph for the third time, this time advising him to return from Egypt to Israel after Herod had died (Matt 2:20). Joseph had a fourth dream, although angels were not specified (Matt 2:22). This time, he decided on his own that it was best for the family to settle in the rural and remote Galilee rather than busy the hustle and bustle of Judea.

Joseph was not an absentee father, a stepfather, as some suggested, or a godfather. Joseph was not the adopted father of Jesus; he was the appointed, assigned or acting father; the legal, the human and the earthly father! Jesus willingly and gladly followed in his kind father’s shoes and took up the carpenter’s trade (Mk 6:3). Joseph did not keep anything from the boy or treat him differently from other children, even though the couple later had four sons – James, Joseph, Judas and Simon – and at least two daughters (Mk 6:3). Joseph had his work cut out for him, but still God entrusted His Son to him without worrying about child abuse, parental neglect, unfair treatment or family dysfunction. Most fathers have enough trouble with their biological kids, never mind being the spiritual father! Most parents would be so out of whack and out of sorts, if not out of here, if they were to care for kids not of their bone and flesh, but not Joseph, who was firm but fair. He was not related by blood, but by belief. The way he handled Mary’s case and treated Mary’s reputation represented the gentleman he was. He was not about to criticize or shame Mary, confront her parents, relatives, and friends, or let his side of the family know he had no choice.

Joseph and Mary were not perfect parents but they were more than good parents; they were outstanding parents. They were not surviving parents; they were super parents. They were not disadvantaged parents, but were devoted parents.

Conclusion: Jesus has come to save His people of their sins. God has given His all when He gave infant Jesus to mankind, but He is not looking for gifts and goods in return from you, but your life and your love in return. Are you the righteous, obedient and strong person God is looking for to do His will? Are you a gentleman to the opposite sex, a fatherly figure to youngsters and a pillar in the family? Have you given your best and your all to Jesus who gave Himself for you?