Bible Couples, Pt. 2: Abraham and Sarah

ENJOY FORTUNE TOGETHER, ENDURE MISFORTUNE TOGETHER (GENESIS 12:1-13:1)
Larry's barn burned down and Susan, his wife, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money.” The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. It doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a NEW one of comparable value.”

Susan replied after a pause: “Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband.”

Even people of faith fail for lack of courage, conviction and commitment, making poor decisions and suffering untold consequences in the process. Abraham, the father of all who believe (Rom 4:11), was faithless on one occasion. He almost lost his family if not for God’s faithfulness. It’s been said, “Three things in life make a man: hard work, sincerity and commitment.” If that is true, Abram failed miserably. He could not tough it out in uncertain or harsh economic times; he was not sincere with the neighbors and foreigners he met and had no commitment to his wife in real or perceived threatening circumstances.

It’s been said, “Desperate times call for desperate measures,” but I beg to differ. Desperate times need not lead to the path of deceit, disloyalty and dishonesty.

How do married couples rise above desperate times? What if riches, resources and reserves are lacking? What do they need to do to hold on to the family?

Desperate Times Call for Dogged Determination
10 Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because the famine was severe. (Gen 12:10)

A young man, a Christian, went to an older believer to ask for prayer. “Will you please pray that I may be more patient?” he asked. The aged saint agreed. They knelt together and the man began to pray, “Lord, send this young man tribulation in the morning; send this young man tribulation in the afternoon; send this young man....”

At that point the young Christian blurted out, “No, no, I didn’t ask you to pray for tribulation. I wanted you to pray for patience.” “Ah,” responded the wise Christian, “it’s through tribulation that we learn patience.”

It’s been said, “Pain is nothing compared to the emptiness that comes from quitting.”

Every couple enjoys their fair share of fortune and suffers their fair share of misfortune like any other couple. An article published several years ago in USA Today (11/14/95) about what most people say are the most difficult things to manage in the household still rings true today. 26% of the respondents said finances were the most difficult to manage; 21% claimed household member’s schedule was at fault; 20% blamed communication with family and friends; 17% attribute chaos in the family to household chores and errands; and still 17% said “others.”

After Abram and Sarai had settled in Canaan, external and internal forces soon bore down on them. Abram and his family and their entourage were on the right track initially, but a famine (v 10) sidetracked them. A famine is an environmental and agricultural downturn and meltdown at its worst. Abram’s confidence in God’s guidance and provision was shaken. Canaan, not Egypt, was the Promised Land. They were supposed to be in Canaan (v 5), but after dropping anchor there, they panicked and fled to Egypt at the first sign of trouble (v 10). The same Hebrew equation for “the famine was severe” reappears one other time in Genesis 43:1, characterizing the early days of the famine in Joseph’s time, a few chapters later at its worst when it became “very severe” (Gen 47:13: The Hebrew word “very” is missing from NIV).

The famine was as severe a test as any. God had commended Abram and promised the land to his offspring (Gen 12:7). In response the patriarch built two altars (vv 7-8) to mark the occasion, to pay his homage and to sink his roots. However, Abram intended to stay in good times and flee in bad or lean times. God specifically commanded Abram while he was in Haran (v 1), “Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you” and again on arrival in Canaan, “To your offspring I will give this land” (v 7). The Lord gave no instructions to Abram when the famine struck, but Abram took God’s silence as permission to leave. The interesting thing was that the famine did more damage than the Canaanites (v 6). The natives could not scare Abram away, but the famine did the job (v 7).

The aging Abram (v 4) probably thought staying was too much to ask of him at his age. Left to his own judgment, Abram’s survival instincts took over and he acted out of fear, not in faith. He failed to seek God’s presence, His will and guidance. Even though commentators like Derek Kidner felt it is unrealistic to regard Egypt as forbidden territory to God’s people at this stage, he, however, said, “In a famine it might well seem a providence that Egypt was near by, watered by the flooding of the Nile. Yet all the indications are that Abram did not stop to enquire, but went on his own initiative, taking everything into account but God” (Genesis, p. 116). The grass was literally greener on the Egyptian side. He was determined to leave his options open and open the back door in his commitment to God. It was not too hard to convince himself that it was a selfless move - he did it all for the sake of others, including his family and servants, or so he thought.

Desperate Times Call for Dependable Character
11As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, “I know what a beautiful woman you are. 12When the Egyptians see you, they will say, `This is his wife.' Then they will kill me but will let you live. 13Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.” 14 When Abram came to Egypt, the Egyptians saw that she was a very beautiful woman. 15 And when Pharaoh's officials saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh, and she was taken into his palace. 16 He treated Abram well for her sake, and Abram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, menservants and maidservants, and camels. (Gen 12:11-16)

There was a man who traveled the seven continents searching for a rare bird. The bird was special because it could speak five languages. The man found the bird in a pet store on the other side of the world. He told the owner to have it shipped to his house.

When finally he arrived home from his travels, he said to his wife, “Dear, did the bird come?” She smiled and answered, “Yes.” He then asked, “Well, where it?” She replied, “It’s in the oven.” “You’ve got be to be kidding,” he said in disbelief. “You put that bird in the oven? Don't you know that bird can speak five different languages?” Unimpressed, his wife curtly replied, “Than why didn’t it speak up?” (Ralph Spencer)

Abram was a selfish pig who did not speak up when he ought to, not for his wife or to Pharaoh. His fears were justified, but being self-serving and selfish was not. He thought he was smart and savvy when he asked his beautiful wife, Sarai, to feign as his sister. Sarai was Abram’s wife and sister from a different mother (Gen 20:12), but she was Abram’s wife by marriage legally and his sister only technically. The Hebrew word for “beautiful” (v 11) also describes Rachel (Gen 29:17), Abigail (1 Sam 25:3), two Tamars (2 Sam 13:1, 14:27), Abishag (1 Kings 1:4) and Esther (Est 2:7). Abram was seventy-five then (v 4), and Sarai was ten years younger (Gen 17:17), at a stunning 65! Abram’s calculations backfired from the start. Not only did he not value her wife, he did not know her value. As it turned out, Sarai was not only beautiful, she was “very beautiful” (v 14) in the eyes of the Egyptians. Sarai was not only one of the magnificent seven beauties of the Old Testament, she was the head of the class. Only she and Abishag (1 Kings 1:4) of the seven qualified as “very beautiful” in Hebrew, but the young Abishag (1 Ki 1:2) was very beautiful in her prime; in contrast, Sarai was still very beautiful past her prime.

Abram suspected from day one what the Egyptians would see in Sarai and how dangerous it would be for his neck. The word “when” (v 12) is comprised of two Hebrew words “And it will be” and “that.” Not “if.” He did not doubt it would happen, neither did he question if he could live without her, how to live without her or how the Egyptians – plural, would respond. His answer to the “your wife or your life?” threat was obvious without saying; the only thing left unanswered in his mind was who would take her. Verse 12 reveals that he predicted what the Egyptians would “see” in his wife and what they would “say” about her and what they would “do” to her husband if she was married. When push came to shove, he let others take his wife away (v 15) without a fight, a word or a murmur. How pathetic! At that point, Abram could still sweep Sarai off her feet, say no to such risks and brave the Canaan famine together. In truth, immigrating to Egypt was worse than staying in Canaan. Famine in the Promised Land was replaced by famine in the human heart.

Wittingly or otherwise, Abram uttered a self-fulfilling prophecy when he said, “Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake.” The Hebrew verb “treated well” reappeared in the most curious and suspicious circumstances when Pharaoh later “treated well” Abram. The Hebrew text said he “had” sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, menservants and maidservants, and camels (v 16) – anything but his wife back. In other words, he had part of what Pharaoh had, but Pharaoh had all that he had. He was richer in things but poorer in life and empty at home. He gambled big and lost everything. Either Pharaoh helped Abram to be rich or Abram helped himself to be rich.

Desperate Times Call for Dignified Response
17 But the LORD inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Abram's wife Sarai. 18 So Pharaoh summoned Abram. “What have you done to me?” he said. “Why didn't you tell me she was your wife? 19 Why did you say, 'She is my sister,' so that I took her to be my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and go!” 20 Then Pharaoh gave orders about Abram to his men, and they sent him on his way, with his wife and everything he had. 13:1 So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, with his wife and everything he had, and Lot went with him. (Gen 12:17-13:1)

A woman came out of her house, and saw three old men, with long white beards, sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said, “I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in, and have something to eat.” “Is the man of the house home?” they asked. “No”, she replied. “He's out.” “Then we cannot come in”, they replied. In the evening, when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. “Go, tell them I am home, and invite them in!”

The woman went out, and invited the men in. “We do not go into a house together,” they replied. “Why is that?” she asked. One of the old men explained: “His name is Wealth,” he said, pointing to one of his friends, and said, pointing to another one, “He is Success, and I am Love.” Then he added, “Now, go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.”

The woman went in, and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. “How nice!!” he said. “Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!” His wife disagreed. “My dear, why don't we invite Success?” Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: “Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!” “Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice,” said the husband to his wife. “Go out and invite Love to be our guest.”

The woman went out, and asked the three old men, “Which one of you is Love? Please come in, and be our guest.” Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other two also got up, and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: “I only invited Love. Why are you coming in?” The old men replied together: “If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success.”

Only divine intervention could save Abram and Sarai at this point when Abram refused to speak up and stand up for Sarai. The LORD inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household (v 17) to protect Sarai. This is the only biblical instance of reported “serious diseases” or “great plagues” in Hebrew. Not even the plagues on Egypt in Moses’ era could top that – Moses’ plagues were primarily “plagues” (Ex 11:1) with no superlatives attached. Poor Sarai. She was almost exchanged for beasts and servants by the passive Abram who did nothing. She was not invited, but taken, taken not for a foreign dignitary but a foreign wife, and not as a house guest but a palace concubine. Further, her weak, passive and cowardly husband was not going back to get her no matter what. No plan was made to climb the castle, tie a rope, lower the maiden and make a getaway. Abram literally sacrificed his wife on the altar of self-preservation. The text calls Sarai his wife (vv 11, 12), Abram’s wife (v 17) and your wife (v 18, 19), in contrast to Abram’s assertion of Sarai being “my sister” (vv 13, 19). Incredibly and ironically, Pharaoh was more honorable, if not more righteous, than the father of faith. Note that Pharaoh did not utter the “your wife or your life” threat; Abram willingly tabled the offer: “my honey for your money.”

Also, Pharaoh knew he had incurred divine wrath even when Abram was clueless. Pharaoh had to figure out what had gone wrong in his kingdom and arrive at a conclusion on his own. The text indicated Abram was speechless in the midst of a crisis of epic proportions when he had a chance to speak up. Further, Pharaoh summoned Abram; Abram did not call on him. It’s been said, “Not admitting a mistake is a bigger mistake.”

Sarai was not as guilty as Abram but she was not innocent either and did not get off scot-free. Someone noted that Sarai, not Abram, told the lie to Pharaoh. Abram was the supplier but Sarai was the swindler! One of the maidservants they picked up in Egypt (v 16), Hagar the Egyptian, was to be Sarai’s constant menace, her thorn in the flesh, her rival for her husband’s attention and to the family name and fortune. The trip south unleashed a genie out of the bottle that refused to be bottled up again. Out of Hagar’s womb came Ishmael, the father of the Arabs (Gen 25:12-13). As a result, the fierce conflict between the Israelites and the Arabs remains unabated today.

Conclusion: Helen Keller said, “Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.” On another occasion, she said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” Have you been faithful, devoted, true and loyal to your spouse? Don’t hang your spouse out to dry, compromise at your spouse’s expense or put God to the test. God puts the husband as the head of the house to make godly and God-pleasing decisions, and the wife as her helper to remind him to be more Christlike, not to be more like himself or more like her. Men, have you have been the good, godly and gallant husband God has intended you to be?